How to reduce bias in feedback conversations

Executive overview

Managers routinely give women and employees of color feedback that is less useful than what their white male peers receive — more praise, less substance. This gap is not usually intentional; it stems from protective hesitation and unconscious bias that distorts language, inflates praise, and softens critical signals.

Therese Huston draws on cognitive science and real performance-review data to show where bias enters feedback and offers specific language and structural changes to correct it.

When praise and scores diverge, the feedback is lying to the recipient — and they know it.

How bias distorts written performance reviews

• Men's reviews show high consistency: superlatives like "outstanding" correlate with top numeric scores.
• Women receive the same superlatives but often score average — a pattern called sugarcoating.
• The numeric rating tends to reflect the manager's honest view; the written comments do not.
• Mixed signals leave women unable to accurately gauge their standing or what needs to change.
• Protective hesitation (David Thomas, 2001): discomfort giving critical feedback across gender or race lines leads managers to pad comments rather than be direct.
• The effect is strongest when white male managers give feedback to women or people of color.

Feedback bias for employees of color

• Research at UCSF found white and Asian American medical students received competency-focused evaluations: "knowledgeable," "thorough," "sophisticated."
• Black, Latinx, and Native American students received affect-focused words: "nice," "pleasant," "open."
• Competency language signals readiness for advancement; affect language does not — even when the intent is positive.
• Bias shows up in praise, not just criticism. Audit the adjectives you use across your team.

Getting women to speak up — changing the room, not the person

• Telling a woman to "speak up more" ignores a real constraint: women who interrupt or assert themselves are perceived more negatively than men doing the same (Stanford Linguistics research, Catherine Hilton).
• Call on a woman first after a presentation. Oxford University research across 11 countries found this single act enabled equal participation from women throughout the discussion.
• Use red flags for microaggressions: a law firm intervention had partners create a shared list of microaggressions, then placed small flags on each conference table. Participants flagged themselves; within a few meetings, women participated on equal footing.

Giving feedback when "too aggressive" comes up

• The word "aggressive" appears in women's performance reviews three times more often than in men's, even when the underlying behavior is the same (Kieran Snyder research).
• Before acting on such feedback, vet the source: ask what specific behaviors triggered the impression, then compare to how those same behaviors are read in male colleagues.
• If you decide to raise it with the employee, lead with good intentions, name the impression rather than endorsing it as fact, and frame the work as impression management — not a character flaw.
• Grenny and Maxfield research: having the employee preface strong statements with "I know it's a risk to speak this assertively, but I'm going to express my opinion very directly" reduced perceptions of aggressiveness by nearly 30%.
• The phrase works by signalling deliberate clarity rather than emotional loss of control.

When an employee cries during feedback

• Tears do not mean the person is falling apart — for some people, strong care about an issue produces visible emotion.
• Do not ignore it. Continuing to talk as though nothing is happening feels invalidating and pressures the person to suppress the emotion faster.
• Acknowledge it simply: offer a tissue, say "it's okay — I have strong feelings sometimes too," or "if feelings were forbidden, I wouldn't work here."
• Avoid "why are you crying?" — it puts the person on the defensive.
• Better questions: "I see this is stirring strong feelings — what's causing the emotion?" or "What are you thinking?" (a logical prompt that helps the person regain their own control without you taking over).
• Do not end the meeting. Give the person a moment, but stay present — these are often the most productive conversations once the emotion surfaces.

Recognising your own unconscious bias

• Unconscious bias is about automatic, unintentional patterns: what you notice, what you remember, how you interpret the same behavior differently depending on who performs it.
• It is distinct from conscious bias — you are not aware it is happening.
• Even experts giving talks on unconscious bias make ageist comments mid-presentation without noticing.
• Be receptive when someone flags a bias in your language — treat it as data, not an accusation.
• Remove the mental model that bias only shows up in negative feedback; it shows up in hollow praise too.