Navigating infertility: one couple's journey to two healthy children

Executive overview

Infertility is isolating, expensive, and poorly served by the medical system. After years of miscarriage, an ectopic pregnancy, tumour removal, and cross-continent doctor-hunting, the author eventually had two healthy children.

The key turning point was finding doctors willing to investigate and treat root causes — a fibroid and blood-clotting issue — rather than defaulting to "keep trying" or a $30,000 IVF bill.

Finding doctors who dig for root causes, not just manage symptoms, is the difference between years of failure and a successful pregnancy.

The medical journey

• Tried for several months in 2016 with no result; Russian doctor started standard hormone therapy (estrogen + progesterone)
• First pregnancy ended in miscarriage; hospitalised for a week in a shared ward
• Second pregnancy showed slow-rising HCG; diagnosed as ectopic, requiring laparoscopic surgery to remove one fallopian tube — halving natural conception chances
• A fibroid (myoma) on the uterus was identified as a likely root cause; multiple US doctors dismissed it as non-problematic
• A Russian doctor found via Instagram recognised the fibroid as a likely blocker; referred to a surgeon
• US insurance refused to cover fibroid removal (no approved infertility link); surgery performed in Germany — effective, fast recovery, flying home two days later

Systemic and financial barriers

• IVF in the US: $30,000 out of pocket without specialised insurance
• Switched insurance plans to one with partial infertility coverage; reduced out-of-pocket to ~$6–7k
• Russia offers free IVF but with long waits — problematic given age-related egg quality decline
• Navigating the system required self-education, reading extensively, and seeing many doctors across multiple countries

The successful pregnancy

• Conceived naturally after fibroid removal and switching to an infertility specialist in San Francisco
• Elevated D-dimer (blood clotting marker) discovered; added blood thinners to progesterone protocol
• Fear of ectopic recurrence caused sustained anxiety through the first trimester
• Panic subsided around week 18; anatomy scan at week 20–22 confirmed healthy development
• Natural birth; conceived second child nine months later

Health changes during the journey

• Hormone treatments caused hair loss, mood swings, and fatigue
• Low iron and vitamin D3 identified and corrected with supplements
• Shifted to organic produce, higher protein intake, and a generally healthier lifestyle
• Health improvements preceded the successful pregnancy

Resources and advice

• Charities "Resolve" and one other (linked in video) offer grants up to $30,000 for IVF
• Don't hesitate to change doctors if dismissed or given generic advice
• Research insurance plans — some offer partial infertility coverage
• Ask your network: doctors offering free consultations, employer plans with fertility benefits
• Lead a healthy lifestyle before conception — your body needs to sustain a pregnancy