How to motivate people to accomplish extraordinary things

Executive overview

People always have reasons why something can't be done. Accepting those reasons feels compassionate — but it can rob them of something that matters to them.

When you understand why someone cares deeply about their work, you can ask them to do things that seem unreasonable. The key is coaching from their purpose, not your agenda.

Ask people to do extraordinary things only when you know why it matters to them — not because you need it.

The story of Astrid

• A cancer survivor building a nutrition program for restaurant-going cancer patients
• Mid-coaching, she announced her cancer had returned and she needed to abandon the project
• Her coach told her she couldn't quit — the project was about conversations, something she could do even through chemo
• She finished the program, elated to be alive and proud of what she'd built
• She later passed away from another recurrence; the program outlived her

Coaching from purpose, not pressure

• Knowing someone's "why" is what earns you the right to push hard
• Asking people to stretch for your benefit is manipulation; asking them to stretch for their own purpose is coaching
• Help people discover and articulate their reasons — don't assume you already know them
• The more clearly you understand what drives someone, the more they'll surprise you