How to turn workplace conflict into productive outcomes

Executive overview

20% of the average workday is spent resolving conflict — yet most people approach it with purely negative associations. The default instinct is to assign blame, punish the offender, and restore a surface-level peace that doesn't last.

The aim frame replaces this pattern with three questions: What happened? What's the goal? What are our options? It shifts focus from fault to forward movement.

The core insight: conflict is not the problem — the blame frame is.

The blame frame vs the aim frame

• Blame frame starts with "what's wrong?" — immediately inviting grievances, not facts
• Blame frame asks "whose fault is it?" — mirroring how we discipline children, not solve problems
• Blame frame ends in punishment: deliberate exclusions, dropped distribution lists, withheld invitations
• Aim frame opens with "what happened?" — orients toward facts, not accusations
• Aim frame then asks "what's the goal?" — often reveals that the parties share a deeper objective
• Aim frame closes with "what are our options?" — enables brainstorming beyond the two positions being argued
• Root-cause analysis still happens under the aim frame, but the response is "how do we prevent recurrence?" not punishment

Assumptions and needs

• Identifying assumptions early prevents misdiagnosis — the orange story: each child wanted the orange for a different purpose; splitting it meant both got half when each could have had all
• Ask "what prompted that question?" before answering — the surface request often obscures the real need
• Distinguish between wants (a ham sandwich) and needs (hunger) — conflating them narrows options unnecessarily
• When wants collide, they appear irreconcilable; when needs are named, many solutions become visible
• In conflict, ask: "What will getting that actually give you?" to surface the underlying need

Managing conflict within teams

• Individual conflict-handling skill does not transfer to team-level conflict — talented people may not use their skills when politics or role dynamics are in play
• As a leader, take an active facilitation role until the team can self-manage (links to forming-storming-norming-performing)
• Bring the group together and have each person independently note what events led to the conflict, then share — surfaces differing perceptions of the same situation
• Ask how a third party (a customer, another department) would view what's happening — moves the team outside its own dynamics
• Anchor the group to a shared positive goal — something worth resolving conflict for, not a competitive one
• Build relationships before conflict arises: knowing colleagues as people increases benefit-of-the-doubt and reduces zero-sum thinking

Practical behaviours for navigating conflict

• Enter conflict with an aim frame mindset — treat it as an opportunity to find solutions, not a threat
• Practice active listening; many conflicts persist simply because each side hasn't heard the other's view
• Never resolve conflict over email — email is an information-sharing tool, not a communication tool; escalating threads should trigger a call or meeting
• If a call isn't immediately possible, let the inbox sit for a few hours rather than continuing a heated exchange
• Virtual teams require deliberate relationship-building to compensate for the absence of informal contact (water-cooler moments, copier conversations)
• Use facilitation tools (hand-raise features, video) to ensure every voice is heard in virtual conflict discussions

The Go Team curriculum

• Go Team is an 18-module team development programme by Susan Gerke and David Hutchins, each module two to three hours
• Modules cover conflict resolution, building on differences, trust, meetings, decision-making, and creativity
• Each module includes a facilitator guide and participant guides; participants work through a real team issue, not a hypothetical
• The conflict module uses the aim frame and blame frame exercises and produces a reusable process
• Designed for internal facilitators — lower cost than custom curriculum development
• More information at goteamresources.com