Leading former peers: how to eliminate the awkwardness

Executive overview

When colleagues become direct reports, leaders often experience resistance and eggshells. The awkwardness is not about the relationship history — it signals one missing leadership quality.

That quality is being a dealer of hope: holding a well-grounded vision of the future and making each team member feel their ambitions are understood and will be fulfilled.

Put the relationship ahead of self-interest and awkwardness disappears.

What it means to deal hope

• Define hope as a well-grounded expectation of the future, not vague optimism.
• Communicate an inspirational vision that gives the team a clear destination.
• Understand each person's best interests as they define them, not as you assume them.
• Build a communication cadence so team members feel heard and understood.

Recognising and activating team potential

• Potential is the gap between where the team is today and where it can be tomorrow.
• Map that gap clearly so the direction is visible to everyone.
• Learn each member's ambitions, priorities, and what matters to them personally.
• Treat each person as an individual, not simply as a former peer.

The mindset shift required

• The relationship is fundamentally different now — accept that rather than fight it.
• It still requires the same deliberate cultivation as any peer relationship did.
• New elements come with the role; embracing them quickly accelerates a performance culture.
• Prioritise the relationship over your own position or authority.