How to spot the identity blind spots holding you back as a leader

Executive overview

Many leaders hit an inflection point where outward success feels hollow or a role stops fitting — and the root cause is often an unexamined identity mismatch rather than a skills gap. Clinical psychologist and coach Marty Dubin argues that we carry core identities (psychologist, engineer, rebel, invisible glue) that filter what we pay attention to and, by extension, what we miss. When a role changes significantly, that identity must change too — or the role must change — and ignoring this transition is a common and preventable career derailer. The remedy is not transformation but small, consistent behaviour shifts that let feelings and self-concept catch up with new actions.

The most powerful leverage point for leadership growth is closing the gap between who you believe yourself to be and the role you are actually in.

Identity blind spots: the hidden filter on your career

• Marty Dubin co-founded a multi-million-dollar healthcare company but still internally identified as a psychologist, not a CEO — a mismatch that contributed to signing a flawed contract based on bad data.
• Identity acts as an attention filter: it determines what you notice, what motivates you, and what you unconsciously ignore.
• Engineers promoted to management often keep an engineer identity; they attend to technical problems and miss the relational and team-performance demands of the new role.
• Role transitions are a psychological process as much as a skill-development one — yet companies almost exclusively invest in the latter.
• Identity transitions involve grief: letting go of a primary identity feels like loss, and without acknowledging that, leaders stall or resist.
• A mismatch left unaddressed becomes a career derailer; acknowledged early it becomes a manageable transition with organisational support.

Seven common identity patterns that create blind spots

• Dubin identifies seven recurring leader identities that can obstruct growth: rebel, imposter, independent thinker, rule follower, feeling unworthy, entitled, and peacemaker.
• These are not exhaustive — every person is unique — but they are common enough to offer a quick recognition shorthand.
• Identities are absorbed from family, society, and experience; many fit and serve us, but some are less conscious and therefore harder to examine.
• The starting point is not labelling an identity as bad, but understanding what strength it has provided and why it worked to get you this far.
• Conflict arises when the demands of a new role diverge sharply from the identity — not when the identity itself is flawed.

The "invisible glue" case: how identity shows up in language

• A high-performing number-two executive who wanted a promotion described herself as "the invisible glue" — someone who solved problems before her leader knew they existed.
• She opened the conversation about why she was overlooked by literally announcing she was invisible, illustrating how identity surfaces immediately in the words people choose.
• What you say first (and last) in an interaction is a diagnostic signal: it reflects how you see yourself and what you believe your role to be.
• Her identity had been genuinely valuable across multiple companies — leaders recruited her precisely for it — until she wanted to lead rather than support.
• The shift was not about changing who she was but changing the story she told about herself as the protagonist of her own narrative: a personal brand change.

From rebel to truth-teller: reframing rather than abandoning identity

• A second leader's identity was "speak truth to power" — she was the team's voice of dissent — which felt incompatible with joining the senior leadership she had always pushed back against.
• Coaching stripped the label back: beneath "rebel" was a deeper identity as a courageous truth-teller — a strength that could transfer upward, not just sideways.
• In the new senior role she became the person who could translate unpopular decisions to the levels below with credibility and empathy, because she had always held their trust.
• This bridging role worked precisely because she had not abandoned her truth-telling identity but redirected it — making top-down directives feel collaborative rather than imposed.
• Identity shifts that preserve core strengths while changing their expression tend to be durable; forced whole-self overhauls tend to collapse.

Practical tools: mapping identity to role demands

• Start with what has worked: list your current identities and the strengths they have produced before examining where they fall short.
• Write two parallel inventories — one of your identities and one of the objective demands of the new role — then look for matches and mismatches.
• Audit your calendar over the last three months; where you actually spend time reveals what your identity is already filtering in and out, often more clearly than introspection alone.
• Rate activities by what you enjoy, what you are good at, where you feel you make a difference, and what the organisation critically needs from you — gaps between those lists are diagnostic.
• Ask what the role actually requires in terms of team, reporting structure, culture, and company direction before assuming your existing identity is or is not a fit.

Behaviour change as the entry point to identity shift

• Insight and emotional work are valuable, but behaviour change is often the fastest lever: act "as if" you already hold the new identity, even before it feels authentic.
• Human beings strive for internal consistency — when behaviour shifts first, feelings and then self-concept follow to realign with the new actions.
• The "invisible glue" executive began simply asking questions and contributing ideas in meetings rather than saving them for private debrief; a small change that made her visible to others.
• Feeling wobbly or uncomfortable when trying new behaviour is a positive signal — discomfort confirms you are doing something genuinely different.
• Avoid the word "transformation": real change is a series of small, consistent, disciplined steps that eventually become the new default, not a sudden overhaul.
• Coaches should identify whether the pivot point for a given individual is thought, feeling, or behaviour — and start there rather than applying a one-size approach.

Making the shift proactive, not reactive

• Most identity conversations start when something has already gone wrong; starting before a role change is more effective and less painful.
• Reviewing your calendar and role demands in relation to a position you aspire to — not just the one you hold — lets you begin acting as if ahead of time.
• Companies and individuals both benefit from naming the psychological transition explicitly at the point of promotion, not only after failure surfaces.
• Open dialogue between leader and organisation about whether a new role is a fit prevents the silent accumulation of misalignment that ends careers.
• Self-awareness is the through-line: Dubin's entire career, across psychotherapy and executive coaching, has centred on helping people see what they cannot yet see about themselves.