How to make friends with high-value people without being a fanboy

Executive overview

Most people approach well-known figures from a position of lower status — telegraphing need before saying a word. The result: the person they approach immediately goes on guard.

The fix is to flip the script entirely. Treat them as an equal, do genuine research on what they care about, and offer specific value with no expectation of return. The rarer and more targeted your offering, the more you stand out.

Famous or successful people already have everyone wanting something from them — being the one person who offers something is the only move that works.

Why the standard approach fails

• Opening with "I'm a huge fan" immediately signals lower status.
• Saying "I know you're busy" implies the other person's time is worth more than yours.
• Asking to grab coffee or tacos puts all the cost on them — time, advice, unknown company.
• Fandom directed at someone's public image misses the actual person.
• People want to feel like an equal, not a celebrity on a pedestal.

What actually works: the WIIFT framework

• Research the person before approaching — 30 seconds of searching reveals their current priorities.
• Tell them specifically how their work affected your life; this never gets old, even for well-known people.
• Ask the question they want to be asked, not the question you want answered.
• Offer value that is unique, specific, and tied to what they actually care about right now.
• Make the offer without any expectation — no implicit ask attached.

Offering value in practice

• Connect them with a person they would genuinely want to meet (e.g. a relevant podcast guest, a specialist in their current project).
• Offer something from your own life that maps directly onto their stated priority (camera crew if they're growing a YouTube channel, a signed cookbook if they love cooking).
• Promote them to your own audience if that audience is relevant to their goals.
• A small, well-chosen gift (e.g. a relevant gift card) signals research and thoughtfulness more than an expensive but generic one.

The long game: Brandon's example

• Brandon met Noah briefly at a fitness event, treated him like a normal person, took a photo, and left — no ask.
• Weeks later he did free headshots for Noah's team without being asked and without sending a PayPal address.
• When Noah announced a podcast and video series, Brandon emailed offering relevant help — and they've worked together ever since.
• The lesson: a single interaction doesn't need to produce a friendship. Set yourself up so that when the natural overlap arrives, the relationship can form.

Mindset and language

• Remove the word "fanboy" from your vocabulary — it signals neediness immediately.
• Shared interests are a better entry point than credentials or fame ("we both lift" beats "I loved your Facebook career").
• Treat them the way you would if you didn't know they were famous — that's the version of the interaction they rarely get.
• Have enthusiasm; just direct it at their work, not at their status.