How to handle an unsupportive colleague and build leadership capacity

Executive overview

Peer relationships are among the hardest in organizations because they require influence rather than authority. Competing with a difficult colleague wastes energy that would be better spent building visibility with decision-makers. For leaders in protected or unionized environments, the inability to exit poor performers is not a reason to stop managing—there is significant work to do before that last resort.

Whatever you allow yourself to focus on grows — shift from competition to collaboration, and redirect energy toward the people who decide your advancement.

Dealing with a competitive or obstructive peer

• Stop waiting for good work to "speak for itself" — it rarely does alone.
• Redirect attention to senior leaders: understand what they care about, how they're measured, what the business case is.
• Use trusted peers, a boss, or a spouse to surface your own strengths — proximity makes them invisible to you.
• Identify the perception that might hold you back from the next role, then address it proactively in conversation.
• Build the narrative: what concerns would a decision-maker have about you, and how do you preempt them?
• The colleague problem becomes secondary once you've positioned yourself with the people who control advancement.

Managing poor performers in protected environments

• The inability to exit someone is not a reason to do nothing — most managers swing too far and take no action at all.
• Start with the accountability dial (Jonathan Raymond): begin with mentions, then set explicit role expectations before escalating.
• Lack of regular feedback is the most common gap — expectations often haven't been clearly stated.
• Inherited situations (long-tenured poor performers with clean reviews) are among the hardest, but still warrant action.
• Avoid binary thinking: there is significant work between "do nothing" and "exit the person."
• Legitimate power (rank) is the least effective lever — expertise, persuasion, relationships, and organizational politics work better in the long run.

Delivering professional development to mandatory attendees

• Compliance training is doubly hard: you carry the weight of every bad session participants have sat through before.
• Bring in subject-matter experts from the relevant field to establish credibility and relevance.
• Break norms gradually — don't attempt a full co-created format all at once.
• Build toward co-creation over time; use feedback loops to make sessions more relevant and engaging.

Building personal capacity

• Sharpen the saw (Covey's seventh habit): production capacity must be maintained, not just production output.
• Exercise and sleep are the highest-leverage physical inputs — the research supports this for everyone.
• The mind is for having ideas, not holding them (David Allen, Getting Things Done) — offload commitments to a trusted system.
• A trusted external system expands capacity as complexity grows; memory-only approaches break down with multiple concurrent projects.
• Learn to prioritize, say no, and delegate — these compound in value as you move up.
• Succession planning is a key competency: delegating well develops others, not just frees your time.
• Build a personal vision (2–3 year horizon) covering career, wellness, finances, and hobbies — it makes daily tactical decisions easier.

Leadership as a field: useful practices, not best practices

• There is no equivalent to PMBOK for leadership — context matters too much for a single definitive guide.
• Leadership is an art; what works in one organization may not work in another.
• Relevant associations: Center for Creative Leadership, Greenleaf Center for Servant Leadership, SHRM (senior HR certification has a leadership component).

Recommended books

1. The First 90 Days — Michael Watkins: context archetypes for transitions (turnaround vs. maintenance), useful before any leadership move.
2. The Leadership Challenge — Kouzes and Posner: research-grounded, five practices framework, sixth edition, covers everyday leaders not just CEOs.
3. Leadership and Self-Deception — Arbinger Institute: a fable, but powerful on the heart of leadership; good for first-time leaders.
4. How to Win Friends and Influence People — Dale Carnegie: dated examples, but the principles on human relationships remain foundational.
5. Getting Things Done — David Allen: mind management and trusted systems for expanding personal capacity.
6. Seven Habits of Highly Effective People — Stephen Covey: production vs. production capacity (Habit 7).