Gary Vaynerchuk on the best and worst advice he ever received

Executive overview

Most business advice gets treated as gospel — but the advice worth keeping is rare, and the advice worth ignoring built some of the biggest businesses. Gary Vaynerchuk reflects on the mentors, habits, and hard lessons that shaped his career.

The market is the best mentor — it tells you what it likes, what it doesn't, and it never stays the same.

Defining success and what it actually means

• Decided he was "a success" at age 10 — never framed it as a destination to reach
• Biggest professional achievement: the vast majority of employees speak highly of him when asked
• Inspired by people who were rich, successful, and kind — not by household-name billionaires
• Rejects "nice guys finish last" — judges a life by who shows up when you're gone

The foundations Gary builds on

• Humility paired with blind, audacious, optimistic conviction
• Hard work balanced with enough self-awareness to know when to rest
• Competitiveness treated as a game — compete hard without hating the opponent
• Aggressive perspective: when something goes wrong, remind yourself how little it matters if family is healthy

Best and worst business advice

• Best: his father's insistence that your word is bond — kept a natural salesman honest
• Worst: "in retail, pick two of price, selection, and service" — he ignored it and built one of the largest wine stores in the country
• The market itself has been his deepest mentor — customers taught him more than any person

Leadership traits that matter

• Think of yourself as working for your team, not the reverse
• Lead by example — hypocrisy destroys trust faster than anything else
• Tenacity and adaptability are essential: at the top, you face the fire alone
• Authenticity and honor are non-negotiable

The advice he wishes he had at 25

• His biggest regret: lack of candor in one-on-one settings for over 20 years
• Was highly candid in public but too soft with people he cared about
• Withholding honest feedback isn't kindness — it denies people the chance to fix problems
• Now practices "kind candor": direct feedback framed with genuine care

The single highest-impact decision anyone can make

• Cut the most negative person in your life
• If it's a close family member, reduce exposure rather than eliminate contact
• For acquaintances, employees, or employers: remove entirely
• Negativity is a cancer — limiting it has the greatest single impact on life quality