How to lead a remote team: principles that have not changed in 25 years

Executive overview

Virtual work removes the informal signals leaders rely on — the hallway chat, the overheard conversation, the visible presence. Without deliberate substitutes, trust erodes and problems surface too late.

Susan Gerke, who began training IBM leaders on virtual management in 1995, argues the core challenges have not changed. Distance amplifies every communication gap and every personality difference. The fix is not more surveillance — it is more intentional conversation, set expectations, and structured connection.

The single most important shift: replace informal contact with deliberate, low-agenda connection — before problems emerge, not after.

Truisms of virtual leadership

• Not everyone thrives working from home; accept that one size does not fit all.
• Out of sight feels like out of mind — even when the leader is actively thinking about their people.
• However much you communicate, your team will perceive it as less; communicate more than feels necessary.
• Informal early warnings disappear — problems escalate further before the leader hears about them.
• Everything gets amplified: quiet people seem quieter, talkers seem to fill more space.

Getting started: the first team conversation

• At your very next team meeting, share your own concerns and your home environment first — before asking others.
• Disclosing your own situation (noisy house, slow internet, young children) makes it safe for others to do the same.
• Follow up with individual one-on-ones to understand each person's environment.
• Clarify expectations explicitly: available hours, response times for texts and emails, whether evenings are protected.
• State what team members can expect of you, and what you expect of them — both directions matter.

Understanding processing styles

• People fall on a spectrum from internal processors (need solo thinking time) to external processors (need to talk things through).
• Remote work removes the natural outlets for both: the commute for internal processors, the casual lunch chat for external processors.
• Remote amplifies this gap — internal processors go quieter, external processors feel more starved.
• Ask each team member directly: "Would you prefer I send an email first so you can think it over, or jump straight into a call?"
• Name the difference openly — it reduces friction at home and at work.

One-on-ones in a virtual setting

• Let the team member set the agenda and go first; ask "What's on your mind?" and wait.
• Resist the urge to fill silence — virtual silence feels longer, but jumping in closes off the conversation.
• After they share, ask "How can I help?" rather than giving unsolicited advice.
• Distinguish checking in (agreed in advance) from checking up (unannounced, feels like micromanagement).
• Set the check-in rhythm upfront; revisit after a couple of weeks and adjust together.
• Start with more frequent touch-points, then reduce once you have a sense of what works.

Staying connected outside formal meetings

• Virtual cup of coffee: a spontaneous, no-agenda video or phone call — the remote equivalent of "want to grab a coffee?"
• Text "let me know when you have five minutes" rather than calling unannounced — preserves autonomy.
• Mirror the physical office rituals: a morning "I'm at work, let me know if you need anything" text replicates the walk-around greeting.
• Start team meetings with one positive: something you noticed, something someone is proud of, something going well.
• Hold occasional no-agenda team calls — a structured space to surface frustrations without tasks or action items.
• Eat lunch together on video; share what you are eating. Low-stakes connection matters.

Building the team virtually

• Create buddy pairs around a shared challenge (e.g. a new tool rollout) — structured peer support builds relationships.
• Designate a technology guru: whoever is strongest at tech takes that role, freeing others to ask without embarrassment.
• Keep notes on personal details — names of kids, pets, anniversaries, milestones. They matter and you will not remember without notes.
• Apply the same team-building principles at home: boundaries, shared expectations, and knowing when it is and is not okay to interrupt.