When and how leaders should express emotion authentically

Executive overview

Leaders often feel pressure to stay calm and composed, but suppressing all emotion can undermine trust. The real question is not whether to show emotion but whether doing so serves others.

Two filters help: Are you in control of your emotions right now? Will expressing this emotion help others navigate the situation?

Authentic emotion builds trust when it is shared on behalf of others, not as personal processing.

When showing emotion helps — and when it doesn't

• Pause before reacting: 15 minutes, an hour, or overnight can make the difference
• Leaders admitting "I'm sad today" humanises leadership and gives others permission to feel similarly
• Share emotions that connect to what the group is experiencing, not personal grief that doesn't
• Employees are not therapists — personal processing belongs with family, a therapist, or a coach
• Ask: is this story about me, or does it move other people forward?
• Authenticity is visible; people can tell when a leader is faking composure

Coordinating fast-changing communications across teams

• Email alone is not enough — pair short emails with a web-based hub (team site, portal) where full details live
• Send fewer emails containing multiple related items rather than one email per update
• Distinguish between information, decisions, and actions — each requires different treatment
• Communicate what you don't know: "No decision has been made yet, but we recognise this is a stressor"
• Move document collaboration off email and onto shared cloud platforms to avoid version chaos
• Over-communicate: one message is never the end — keep reinforcing key updates
• Build in a weekly digest that summarises everything for people who missed earlier communications
• Define a clear policy: who approves organisation-wide messages, who needs to be in the loop

Building culture and community during remote work

• Gather stories, not just information — what has been hard to maintain in terms of culture?
• Create optional community sessions (e.g. skill-sharing, story readings) that welcome family and distractions
• Work-life spillover is at an all-time high; the commute buffer is gone for most people

Managing a leader whose anxiety is spreading to their team

• Start with the nobler why: frame the work around purpose (e.g. caring for animals and families) rather than policy
• Set the expectation explicitly that policies will keep changing — this reduces shock when they do
• Use intent vs impact: the manager likely intends well but doesn't see the downstream effect on the team
• Help them trace the connection between specific behaviours and the team's response
• Name the sources of guidance you are following (CDC, EEOC, state bodies) — transparency reduces fear
• Open the door for team members to raise safety concerns; having a voice reduces anxiety
• Reinforce the why repeatedly; it is almost impossible to over-communicate purpose during a crisis