Changing behavior, managing co-workers, and overcoming imposter syndrome

Executive overview

Knowing what to do and actually doing it are different problems. Changing behavior is hard because practice makes permanent, not perfect — and most people try to change too many things at once.

Focus on one behavior at a time until it becomes habit, then move to the next. Imposter syndrome is a sign you're growing; redirect it by shifting focus from yourself to the people you serve.

Behavior change fails when it's too broad; it succeeds when it's relentlessly narrow.

Changing your own behavior

• Practice makes permanent, not perfect — existing habits are deeply embedded
• Focus on one or two behaviors at a time; Marshall Goldsmith works this way with top executives
• Smaller, concrete goals produce success; "fold this pile of laundry" beats "clean the whole house"
• Passive podcast listening still builds vocabulary and pattern recognition over time
• Read The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg; look for cornerstone habits that unlock others
• Make commitments at defined intervals; review and simplify them ruthlessly

Navigating a difficult co-manager

• A three-to-six month transition is finite; leading during a season is easier than leading through a permanent state
• Apply Covey's circles: control is small, influence is larger, concern is everything else — focus narrows where you have real impact
• Whatever you focus on grows; zooming in on frustrations makes them bigger
• If the other person aligns with your core mission (e.g., excellent patient care), let that reframe your view of them
• Carve out time to lead the people you can influence directly
• Small physical breaks — a five-minute walk — can reset perspective when you're stuck

Dealing with imposter syndrome

• Feeling underqualified is normal; if you're perfectly qualified, you're probably aiming too low
• High achievers pick things up fast — curiosity and good questions compensate for gaps
• Find a trusted person outside your team to process doubts with; don't surface them with the people you lead
• The overcorrection is as dangerous as the syndrome: authentic confidence is not the same as overconfidence
• Shift from "what will they think of me?" to "how can I serve them?" — the weight lifts immediately
• Transparency means sharing what is helpful, not sharing everything; a pilot's first day as captain is not announced
• Be authentic enough to be human, not so authentic that people lose confidence in your leadership

Contentment vs. achievement orientation

• Career satisfaction studies show income above basic needs has diminishing returns on happiness
• Trying to suppress an achievement-oriented personality is the wrong goal
• Redirect the drive: pursue roles that are interesting and challenging, not just higher-status or higher-paid
• Discontentment is a signal worth examining — is the move motivated by curiosity or by restlessness?
• Achievement orientation can be channeled toward developing others, not just personal advancement
• Coaching and mentoring others is one way to keep achieving without chasing the next title