Stoic strategies for worry, presence, and rooting for others

Executive overview

Anxiety is often a choice, not an inevitability. Stoicism offers two corrections: stop extrapolating worst-case scenarios, and recognise that inner life need not be turbulent. Watching others succeed triggers zero-sum instincts — but envy punishes you most.

Treating others' success as your own, and refusing unnecessary worry, are both skills that improve with practice.

Choosing not to catastrophise

• Worrying about imagined outcomes is creativity misapplied
• Marcus Aurelius: no need to torture yourself with terrifying potential futures
• "Living in your head" means living in a bad neighbourhood
• Presence, confidence, and positivity are available even when the world feels chaotic
• Focus on what's in front of you; cross the next bridge when you reach it

Rejecting the zero-sum mindset

• Hunter-gatherer instinct treats life as zero-sum — someone else's gain feels like your loss
• The stoic view: life is a collective, infinite game, not a finite pie
• Schadenfreude (wishing others ill) vs Mittenfreude (actively wishing others well)
• A rising tide lifts all boats — others' success in your field usually helps, not hurts, you
• Jealousy punishes the person feeling it most; envy is the only deadly sin with no upside

Practising Mittenfreude

• Virtue requires exercise — empathy and selflessness atrophy without practice
• Seneca: learn to rejoice in others' successes and feel moved by their failures
• Comparison is the thief of joy (Roosevelt); choose celebration over competition
• Petty feelings will still arise — the practice is sweeping them away, not eliminating them entirely
• Rooting for others leads to a happier, less ego-driven life