How to handle personal connection, performance problems, and knowledge transfer

Executive overview

Leaders who connect personally with their teams often face pushback from peers who favour formal distance — but evidence of better results is reason enough to persist. Entrenched behaviour problems require movement, not just acknowledgement: document, involve HR or unions, and keep the situation progressing. Near-retirement employees hoard institutional knowledge out of genuine fear; recognition and legacy-framing unlock it.

Personal connection is a competitive advantage, not a liability — and the evidence for it is usually right in front of you.

Military-to-corporate transition: lead by personal connection

• Peers cautioning against connection are often threatened by higher effort, not acting in your best interest.
• Ask: would you want to be led by someone impersonal? The answer shapes how you should lead.
• Do it quietly — no announcements, just consistent behaviour over time.
• If you have evidence that personal connection drives better results, that is your case; act on it.
• Personal relationships built at work transcend the organisation and outlast any single role.
• A poor cultural fit for connection-led leadership is a signal about the organisation's long-term fit for you.

Getting employees to bring solutions, not just problems

• Mandating "never come to me without three solutions" is too rigid and silences people who lack the tools to generate options.
• Many employees simply have not been taught how to think through decisions — this is a teaching opportunity, not just a policy problem.
• If you solve every problem for them, you reinforce the behaviour; involve them in the thinking instead.
• Walk employees through your decision-making process a few times; then start asking questions rather than providing answers.
• Make small shifts over time rather than imposing rules with unintended consequences.
• Critical thinking skills are unevenly distributed — assume the gap before assuming unwillingness.

Dealing with an entrenched poor performer

• Start with the Mager & Pipe flowchart (book: Analyzing Performance Problems, or You Really Ought to Wanna) — it surfaces whether the issue is worth solving, whether the behaviour is being inadvertently rewarded, and whether training is even the right lever.
• Episode 190 (Tom Henschel on coaching) covers balancing behavioural expectations with meeting people where they are — essential when behaviour has been tacitly condoned for a long time.
• Avoid labelling ("bad attitude") — focus on specific, observable behaviours and their concrete effects on others.
• If someone has already acknowledged the problem, the goal shifts from awareness to action: what changes next?
• Keep the situation moving: documentation, HR or union involvement, training, and clear communication that the status quo is unacceptable.
• "Unwilling" and "unable" require different responses — determine which is at play before escalating.

Addressing demeaning remarks in a school setting

• Teachers who make demeaning remarks often have no conscious intent to harm — but intent does not determine impact.
• Microaggressions — small, repeated slights — accumulate into significant harm for students who feel like outsiders.
• Focusing on specific incidents ("when you said X, this student felt Y") reduces defensiveness more than broad labels.
• Categorise the type of remarks being made; precision helps surface patterns and appropriate remedies.
• If the person has acknowledged the problem, move the focus to behaviour change and accountability, not further awareness-raising.
• Navigate union and HR structures carefully, but never let those structures become a reason for inaction.
• Communicate clearly that continued behaviour has consequences, even if exit is not immediately available.

Transferring knowledge from near-retirement employees

• Institutional knowledge hoarding is driven by real fear: once skills are shared, job security feels threatened — and in some organisations, that fear is justified.
• Recognise and publicly praise every instance of knowledge-sharing, however small — in meetings, in email updates, visibly.
• Run short, regular "onsite" sessions: 20 minutes at someone's desk each week to surface key tasks and generate questions.
• For employees who have pride in their careers and the organisation, connect knowledge transfer to legacy — what they leave behind.
• Not every near-retirement employee will respond to legacy framing; read each person and adjust accordingly.
• Cross-training as a performance appraisal item is a start, but recognition and meaning accelerate the pace.