What young men get wrong about Stoicism — and what it's really for

Executive overview

Young men are drawn to Stoicism because no one else offers them a serious guide to living well. But grifters exploit that hunger by stripping Stoicism of its core: justice, compassion, and the common good.

Real Stoicism is not emotional suppression or a toolkit for self-interest. Marcus Aurelius wrote about the common good dozens of times. The philosophy's explicit purpose is to widen your circle of concern, not to justify indifference to others.

Stoicism without justice isn't Stoicism — it's a self-serving counterfeit.

Why Stoicism attracts young men

• Society offers them no credible framework for living with purpose and challenge
• Stoicism says: you have value, you were put here to do something
• That message hits hard when the dominant culture feels dismissive or hostile
• The entry point is often self-mastery — emotions, discipline, resilience
• That's legitimate, but it's only the beginning

The two Stoicisms: lowercase vs uppercase

• Lowercase stoicism: emotionless, invulnerable, repressed — a cultural stereotype
• Uppercase Stoicism: the actual philosophy — engaged, compassionate, civic
• Grifters take real Stoic ideas and fuse them with toxic masculinity and resentment
• The result: a philosophy that rationalises exploitation and disengagement
• Using Stoicism to avoid feeling empathy for people you harm is the opposite of what it teaches

What Marcus Aurelius actually says

• "The point of life is good character and acts for the common good"
• He mentions the common good roughly 80 times in Meditations
• Despite unlimited power, he never lost compassion or love for fellow humans
• He saw himself as a cosmopolitan — belonging to all of humanity, not just his tribe

The concentric circles framework

• Stoics described rings of concern: self, family, neighbours, city, nation, all living things
• The purpose of Stoic practice is to pull the outer rings inward
• Real growth means caring more about others, not less — even at cost to oneself

Prioritising what matters most

• Seneca: philosophy should not get the leftovers of your time — it should come first
• The same applies to family, to inner work, to anything truly important
• You don't have real leverage if you give your best hours to things that don't matter
• Success means nothing if it prevents you from prioritising properly

Stoicism and public life

• Epicureans retreated from politics unless forced; Stoics engaged unless prevented
• Seneca's day job was as one of Rome's most powerful politicians
• Stoicism is not a reason to turn away from the world — it's a reason to act in it