The cost of perks and the value of adversity

Executive overview

Privilege and position come with a temptation: use them to ease your own path at others' expense. The Stoics rejected this. Washington, Marcus Aurelius, and McCain all turned down special treatment when it would have been easy to accept it.

Adversity is not the enemy. Epictetus argues that a hard challenge is a gift — a sparring partner chosen specifically to make you stronger.

The right thing and the hard thing are usually the same thing.

Perks at others' expense

• George Washington refused to let his estate receive special treatment from enemy troops — he'd rather it be demolished.
• Marcus Aurelius sold off Imperial Palace treasures to repair Rome's finances rather than tax others or exploit his power.
• Stockdale and McCain refused early release as POWs because accepting would have undermined their fellow prisoners.
• The test: what if everyone in your position took the same perk? Would that be fair?
• Compensation for work is legitimate. The question is whether your advantage comes at a direct cost to someone else.

Adversity as training

• Epictetus: difficulties reveal character. A hard challenge is God matching you with a strong sparring partner.
• Becoming an Olympian takes sweat. The challenge isn't a punishment — it's the pathway.
• Most people want ease and comfort. They resent the hard boss, the stronger rival, the difficult circumstances.
• The reframe: adversity was chosen for you by a coach who wants the best from you.
• Wrestling someone better than you makes you better. The same logic applies everywhere in life.
• MacArthur: "Upon the fields of friendly strife are sown the seeds that upon other fields on other days will bear the fruits of victory."
• Competition and resistance build transferable virtues — what you cultivate in safe struggle, you deploy in the real fight.