Workplace relationship policies: what to include and how to build one

Executive overview

Banning office relationships doesn't stop them — it drives them underground. The real goal of a relationship policy is to protect workplace culture and prevent conflicts of interest, not to control who employees date.

Two scenarios create distinct problems: supervisor–direct report relationships (power imbalance, perceived favouritism) and peer breakups (interpersonal fallout). A policy should address both without blanket prohibition.

A relationship policy works best when it sets clear behavioural expectations rather than forbidden relationships.

The case against a blanket ban

• Employees who want to date will date — they'll just hide it (77% of US office romances go undisclosed, per SHRM)
• Secrecy doesn't prevent the workplace problems a ban is trying to avoid
• A strict policy may cause an employee to leave the company rather than give up the relationship
• Rule-followers may forgo a genuine connection unnecessarily

Supervisor and direct report relationships

• Power imbalance makes consent ambiguous and creates real or perceived favouritism
• Policy should not prohibit the relationship outright, but must require disclosure to management
• On disclosure, one or both parties may be moved to a different team or reporting line
• Perception of bias — even without actual bias — damages trust across the team

Peer relationships and breakup scenarios

• Peer dating (no reporting line) generally does not require a policy restriction
• Breakups can disrupt the workplace; policy should address behaviour, not the relationship itself
• Unacceptable behaviours to specify: arguing at work, inappropriate physical contact, conduct that distracts colleagues or hinders operations

Steps to build or update a relationship policy

1. Assess your context — industry, remote vs. in-office, and existing culture shape how strict the policy needs to be
2. Align with the CEO — leadership stance sets the policy's boundaries; HR should raise concerns about over-restriction
3. Consult a legal expert — ensure the policy protects the organisation from liability
4. Draft the policy — include purpose, scope, policy details, and disciplinary actions
5. Consider a relationship contract — a signed document confirming consent and behavioural expectations during and after the relationship
6. Get leadership feedback — align stakeholders before publishing
7. Distribute and track sign-off — add to the employee handbook or compliance system; ensure employees acknowledge updates